Sunday, May 03, 2009

Death...

I certainly thought that I would be having a serious conversation about death with Owen someday...I just didn't envision that he would be just 3 years old when it happened.

Today, Owen asked me about dying. He came up to me and asked, "Mommy, am I going to die?" I believe in being honest with him...the catch is finding the balance between giving him an answer without adding more information which will cause anxiety or distress. I found this question to be a difficult one to answer just so.

So I said, yes, that one day he would die...hopefully, many, many years from now. He then asked me if I was going to die, and I told him that yes, I too would die...but hopefully when I'm old. He then said to me, "Can I have Mousey with me when I die", and his eyes filled with tears. I could see that he was not handling this very well...and I didn't really know what to say...so I held him and told him that dying is just a part of the cycle of life...we are born, we live, (hopefully a happy and fulfilling life) then, we die.

He then asked more questions about death...naming people he knows...is Grant going to die? (Yes) Is Vicki going to die? (Yes)...Ugh. Eventually I changed the subject, which was OK...but he came back about half an hour later and asked me again about dying.

I better do some reading about this, so I am better prepared. I don't know why I thought we'd deal with the sex talk first...(for that one, I am prepared!!!)..but this one caught me off guard...and my little guy is such a sensitive little person, it was especially challenging for me...

Sigh.

2 comments:

Librarian Man said...

I don't know how fully it was interpreted, but when my grandmother died, C and L got to see the actual burying of the casket. It was at that point that I think the kids really grasped the idea of grandma turning back into dirt, nourishing the surrounding flora and fauna and continuing on/re-emerging in a thousand different forms and manifestations... In the moment I wasn't sure how it would go over with the kiddos but it seems to have been a pretty good introduction to death.

Vicki Singleton said...

ugh...yes a hard conversation to have indeed. We've only touched on it briefly when we put the cat down. He hasn't made the leap yet regarding people dying. I think you did the right thing by being honest and knowing how much he could handle.